Make Sure Your Device is Within Range
Not that that means anything to Bluetooth
A very condensed version of a recent attempt to pair my iPhone with the Bluetooth in a used Toyota Highlander.
Dono: I would like to listen to some music in my new car, which, while not new in the just-off-the-lot sense, is new to me.
Bluetooth: I can help with that.
Dono: Good. Let’s get this paired up.
Bluetooth: Go for it.
Dono: Looks like there are already five iPhones paired up. I believe that’s the limit.
Bluetooth: Yes, you’ll have to delete one.
Dono: I can do that. How about the bottom one?
Bluetooth: Good choice.
Dono: All righty—well, darn. When I press the bottom iPhone, the Delete button doesn’t come up.
Bluetooth: What? Weird.
Dono: You seem, in fact, to be looking for that fifth iPhone.
Bluetooth: I am. And that connection is unavailable.
Dono: I could have told you that. I’m trying to pair the iPhone I’m holding in my hand.
Bluetooth: You’ll have to delete one first.
Dono: You’ll have to show me a Delete button so I can do that.
Bluetooth: I don’t *have* to do anything.
Dono: How can I listen to music then?
Bluetooth: You’ll have to pair up your iPhone with me.
Dono: That’s what I’m trying to do.
Bluetooth: You’ll have to delete one of the five already paired up.
Dono: I’m—you know what, screw it. I can’t argue with you and try to drive. (drives for five minutes) Hey, the Delete button just popped up on the screen.
Bluetooth: Now you can delete one iPhone and add yours.
Dono: Yes, but why did it take five minutes of doing nothing for that to—never mind. Click, delete, add. There we go, I’m adding my iPhone.
Bluetooth: There is no device connected.
Dono: Yes, there is. It’s my iPhone.
Bluetooth: No device is detected. Would you like to try to connect from the audio player?
Dono: I don’t care if I have to connect from the carburetor if it means I can listen to music.
Bluetooth: There is no device connected.
Dono: This seems to be a you problem.
Bluetooth: Is it, though?
Dono: Hang on—let me open up my settings. OK, Bluetooth is definitely on. It says the Toyota Highlander is not connected, so I’ll click on that—
Bluetooth: There is no device connected. Make sure your Bluetooth is on and within range.
Dono: Within range? I’m holding my phone right next to the screen. Is your range measured with a micrometer?
Bluetooth: There is no device connected.
Dono: Oh, no kidding? I hadn’t noticed, you piece of—
Creedence Clearwater Revival: I see a bad moon rising—
Dono: Oh, wait, there it is. I don’t know what I did, but I’ve got music after forty-five freakin minutes. Thanks, I guess.
(The next day)
Bluetooth: I’ve never seen this phone before in my life.